You miss all of them. When you miss somebody you don’t just miss them as they were a few months or years ago, you miss them running around in diapers with curls bouncing and baby teeth grinning. When you miss somebody, you miss their moods – good bad and ugly. When you miss somebody you miss their laugh, their cry and the occasional laughing snort. I miss her plumber’s crack (plumber’s daughter and all) her tiny teeth, the freckle in her eye and her fire. I miss our childhood, running around on 5 acres in our birthday suits playing in the hose. I miss the way she would fill in my memories, I don’t know if I will ever remember anything correctly now. I miss her perfectly round nostrils, but I have a living breathing pair of those in my house now. I tuck her in every night and look at those circular nostrils and think – she is not dead. She is here. And then my tears betray me and I realize that Hailey is gone, but I have the best gift she could have given anybody.
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Heather – wow, it was so great to see your blog area. Pam (and I) are so grateful to have got to you through yoga. Pam is so dissapointed not to get to see ya, but she does so understand. You were there for us at the right time and I will always be so thankful.
Heather, my oldest brother died in 2000. Ray was 39 years old. We loved each other, and yet at the same time, were so competive with each other. I miss him dearly, but have moved along as I know all is just the way that it is suppose to be.
Reading your blog reminded me so much of him and our early days. Damn, Christmas was the time of the year that he acted like he liked me and we did not do any fighting or fussing with each other. In fact, he would even let me sleep in his room on Christmas Eve. Yea, I remember our good times together and seem to never recall our other times.
I can only share my experience as it occured to me and still does. I and Pam respect you beyond belief for what you are doing. I wish you the greatest of Peace and contenment that one can receive. Please let us know When you start back in the yoga teaching arena.
May the Peace of the creative Spirits continue to be with you.
Your friends,
Carl and Pam Martin