I have so much going though my head right now its insane
If you have a problem with brutal honesty and cussing – you should stop reading now
What the fuck, a week+ ago I was told that my sister had days – a week or two at best to live. She has not gone completely septic, which is great but she has 4 tumors blocking her intestines. Ever been constipated? Yea, that sucked – this sucks 1million times worse. She has a fucking tube going from her nose to her stomach. It hurts. It hurts to put it in – so mcuh so that the nurses are crying after they do it. Those are some tough chicks, but they cry when the put an NG tube in – cuz it sucks. It hurts. But its the only way to keep the poision out of her system. She tolerated a popsicle – she fucking tolerated a popsicle – great. This is really a big deal. You and I are walking around tolerating beer, burgers, cereal and God knows what else…. YEA Hailey tolerated a grape popsicle.
I am a bitter bitch tonight.
This sucks ass. She told me it was OK to go home and I did. I feel like I need to be there. I don’t feel right at all. I am supposed to go to Panic tomorrow and I will go on orders of my sister. I don’t want to.
She is 32 years old – fuck this shit. Nobody deserves this. Its NOT from God. This is from us, the earth, some evil shit.
We picked out clothes for her funeral
Colleen…. don’t get me started. I love her so much. I can not imagine how much Hailey loves her – or James….
God help us.
Love & light