Wow, its been a long time since I wrote on here…I feel bad and I have been missing it. I am so busy with Soul Shine, work, family, trying to keep up on the laundry…blah, blah, blah…trying to fit a social life in there somewhere…and starting a new clothing line (LiciaLu) I have completely left a bunch of people hanging.
I know you are all wondering how Hailey is doing…she is…well, OK. That is the best I can muster. She is OK. Not good, not by any means, but not terrible. Not terrible by her standards anyway – by ours – it would be terrible. If you could not keep any food down, felt like getting out of bed just to use the bathroom and get some water, you would classify that as terrible. However, we can classify it as OK in Hailey’s world. If you ask her how she feels, she will tell you straight up “terrible, $^$(*#!!$@!&%&*#, terrible”. I don’t know if I could be that kind. She spends all day in bed, watching TV and she will get up to go to the bathroom, get some water or maybe some food. The food does not settle for long though, so she is not too keen on food now.
She is at my parents house, and her treatment is out patient. We all honestly thought that this round of chemo would be easier. Well, we were wrong. Its all poison. Stinking poison. Which again leads me to wonder, which is worse? Cancer or chemo? You would think in 2010 we would have a better way…
It hurts, it really does. My dad asked me today if I was scared. I told him no. She has fight, she is talking, she is cracking jokes, protecting her daughter, loving and spunky. She has spark in her eyes. Most importantly she has her faith. I will let him know, and I will let you know when I am scared. But, it hurts to see my crazy ass sister sick as hell and laid up in bed all day. I still get to cuddle with her, watch movies and most importantly make fun of our parents (haha!) – so I am going to savor all of it I can and I am still holding out for a miracle from the Good Lord. He IS a Good Lord.
In the meantime you can change the world with your own two hands – go out there and do it. Stop sitting around and waiting for your invitation. If there is anything that this teaches us, GO, get out there and DO IT. Whatever it is….DO IT.
I love you all
Love and Light
Diamonds on the Inside…and Let your Soul Shine